interlude

I'm not in the mood to write. Maybe it won't shine through. Perhaps it will.

Today has been good. Work hasn't been all consuming the last two days. Yesterday, my boss and I were matching: white shirt, gray pants and black shoes. As much as I stand on what I said before, I understand the duality of man. I enjoy the downtime and the human moments in the office and he has been kind and generous during both tenures. Since I've been doing all this baking, he bought me a coconut cream mini-pie after his lunch meeting. I might have to learn to make pies but truth is, I do not really like them. I do know I want to make my crust from scratch. And of course, I want them to be yummy!

I had back to back carrot cake orders: one was for a birthday and the other was just because. They had a mini-celebration for one of our new Finance ladies. She's someone I'm really enjoying getting to know. I talk about the future a lot and being a wife and mother because I know the choices I make now affect the future and I consider the woman I want to be a lot. There are things I need to do in the present so the future looks somewhat like what I envision, though, I know much of it is out of my hands. She was talking about being a woman with a career and also praying to God for a child. So much to juggle, that is. Her son sometimes sees her on her computer and wants to have a conversation but will call her out: "mom, you're not even paying attention." Oop! And I love that so much because it's so necessary to have that presence to keep you in the present. Work is important but family even more so. And he loved my cake! Wins all around.

The other cake was from an aquantiance. When I moved back to NJ I spent a lot of time at the bar and got to know the bartenders. They took good care of me, ha. And know so much of my tea. September first will be a full year, which I'm proud of, and I haven't been down to visit very often since. I didn't want to be tempted but now realize I had to keep these connections going because they've all been so kind and it's nice to talk to people outside of my coworkers, some different perspectives. I was sharing my new venture and for one of the bartenders to pull money out of their pocket after not even tasting a slicing and paying for a full cake was so assuring. People believing in my dreams as much as I do is heartwarming.

I dropped the cake off earlier this afternoon and took such a good little photo. I'm trying to work on my icing to cake ratio and putting the right amount of sugar but not too much, you know?! Also now considering sugar-free, diabetes friendly cake options.

I've got a nice big ingredient shop to do, which I'm excited for. It's me and my little granny cart against the world. Also, some other business to handle that I've been pushing off.

Posting voice memos instead of writing is so funny to me. I love them but don't listen to them back because I just be talking in circles or jumping from topic to topic but it feels good to get it out in that way. When I'm writing I'm thinking a lot and can go back to edit, when I'm speaking and not pausing, the brain dump trips me up.

What I'm trying to say is: I want to learn to start the day early, I want to spend more time at the beach and in the ocean, breakfast with the family and prayers at the table are so important to me before the work day even begins. And whatever other quality time we can fit in, the better!

How do we make the most of the time we have together?

How do I make the most of the time I have right now?

Currently, by watching Real Housewives, writing and after this, painting. Maybe a little karaoke…

Need a flower in my hair,

xoxo,

Ashanti