she’s a dancing machine

There is a woman at my job that wears heels every single day. I’ve decided this is one of my goals. As I mature, I want to be more intentional about how I express myself which includes how I dress and style myself. I had been eyeing this brown pair of slingback heels and after having a conversation with her I finally bought them and then wore them yesterday to work. I felt so stinking cute! Now 9-5, I think I did well. I probably took them off a couple times but I made it to the end of the work day but then my silly-ass wore them into the city.

The Whitney museum has dance classes on Fridays, and those evenings are free. I loved seeing so many of the couples out for date night, all dressed up and lovey dovey. Instead of forcing it, I’m forming organic relationships and the difference feels so good. My friend and I did a little shopping before our class, feet aching, we perused but she didn’t find a thing — wouldn’t even let me convince her to buy a the cutest purse. I think I’m a good influence! Buying good quality, that’ll last is so much better than buying cheap and having to replace it immediately. I’m trying to say no to fast fashion.

I’m enjoying having girl-friends. Chat about this and that, our dreams and finding our purpose, how we imagine the future and what kind of things have tripped us up in the past in love, platonically and romantically. With her, we discuss our spiritual beliefs a lot and I realize in my day-to-day I need people to talk to about more than this material realm. Living in cycles, breaking out of them, and doing it different.

When we finally made it to museum, there were so many people in this room trying to learn swing dancing. Now…you know what when I’m home alone, my hips move! I’ve got a cute little shimmy and the music moves me. I’m the queen of a two-step. Being with this big group trying to learn an eight count? I just did anything. There was a portion we had to pair up and lead or be lead. This style of dance you move so quickly too. I think we made the most of it! And you know me, I’m always trying to look a bit deeper.

When I was by myself, I got the steps but once we got together, I was the leader and since I was unsure, I couldn’t lead my partner —she didn’t trust me to. As a teacher, you learn your students may very well teach you more than you ever teach them. I do think that as a leader, even though you’re in charge, you have to know that you need to listen and learn. When I was on the other end, as the one being lead, I tried to be honest about not knowing what to do and trying to trust the person I was dancing with. Their confidence made it easier to let go of my own control issues.

I’d like to do more classes, even if I feel a little foolish during!

We explored the city a little more and ended up in the Village where I used to teach. Walking the same route to the train that I used to felt strange and felt like the closing of that chapter for good. I know I’m doing things in a different way. What is there to do in NYC at 10PM if you aren’t drinking and out and about? Catching the train and heading home, that’s what! We sang Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers on our way from the train station. I think it was the end of a good night.

I’m sore as ever this morning and as exhausted as I am, this is not the day to stay home and do nothing. Sharing my dreams and passion aloud has taught me that there are people who will believe in me and want to see them come to fruition. This started as cakes, then cupcakes, a few cookies, I’ve been the muffin man the last few weeks — my pumpkin crumb muffins are immaculate — but now I’m venturing into pies. It’s the perfect time of year for them. Pie crust intimidates me but this is the weekend to experiment! Yummy little apple pie, I’m hoping and a nice new cupcake I want to try: gingerbread cupcake with a fig and honey cream cheese frosting. Lots of shopping to do before I get into the kitchen and try these things out.

Let me tell you this!

As I evolve, people’s views of me evolve. Sometimes people are more comfortable with the version of you they knew, hold you to the person you were when they first met you. I say all that to say, I think someone is Christopher Colombus-ing me. I am laughing out loud writing this. It is also not funny. My treats have been very well received at work, people anticipate them but we have a lot of folks who bake. I have a good rapport with someone, whose main focus is usually chocolate, that made a treat inspired by the strawberry cupcakes I was paid to bring in.

I’m not so upset about being her inspiration because I didn’t make the full recipe myself, I too was inspired. What is irking me is that, you can acknowledge that I’m the reason. But also much of what I’ve been complimented on, informed your process. I think it’s more a search for the same kind of praise I’ve been receiving. I’m knowing to keep my distance and remove her from the taste tester list!

They can copy but could never recreate the magic.