Subrina

The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.

Though this may be a misrepresentation of the often quoted “blood is thicker than water,” I think it holds just as true depending on the circumstances. We’ve never went into battle together, but we have graduated elementary, middle and high school together, braved the 34 bus together at peak after school hours (this was the real war zone!), and continue to navigate through adulthood together.

I could think of hundreds of adjectives to describe Subrina, but the two that hold most true are: consistent and honest.

When I was younger, there was a time growing up where I didn’t feel I fit in even when I was surrounded by friends and family. Like no one understood me and I was always wishing to find those people that did. It was never a matter of my friends not being good friends but I was just so closed off, spending a lot of time buried in books, daydreaming of the life I wished I was living.

(It’s not you, it’s me is kind of a reoccurring theme in my relationships.)

She’s been a constant in my life since the third grade, with her single braid long enough she could sit on it (her most iconic hairstyle if you ask me). One of my earliest memories is us in the fourth grade being pulled out of class weekly and having to practice for the math olympics. We walked from our school to a neighboring school, lost the competition and had to do the walk of shame back. (Why I was on the team is beyond me because to this day math makes no sense to me. Without a shadow of a doubt I know I’m the reason we lost.)

Even as we grew up and we branched off into our own friend groups in the seventh grade after transferring schools, I still considered her one of my closest friends. (Though I know for a fact I annoyed her from time to time, as kids do. Possibly all the time.) We spent so much time getting to know each other by recapping our day at the bus stop, which turned into spending more time together outside of school doing different activities with other friends.

One of the things I always respected about her was her honesty. Maybe it wasn’t always said in the right way (I won’t expose her) but she was honest about her feelings, there’s no sugar coating. People are so afraid of disagreeing with their friends, but you don’t have to play “yes man” to them either. They should be able to tell you when you’ve done something wrong — she’s one person who isn’t gonna have you looking crazy that’s for sure. (Now whether you listen to the advice or not is up to you.)

There was a time I was isolating myself from everyone and she would check up on me but she also knew me enough to give me space. She never pressured me to speak, or judged me, when I felt ready to join the world again, we fell right back into the swing of things. Looking back on it, this meant the most to me as I tried to get my mental health in check. The relationship we’ve created that latest for almost 20 years continues to further show me the importance of interpersonal relationships. As much as the internet would like you to believe, you can’t survive in this world by yourself and go around cutting everyone off. You can’t take every single person in your life for granted, you’ll be miserable because of it.

Lately, we’ve started what I would call a podcast, in our text thread sending voice notes back and forth and it’s been hilarious to reminiscence about the past and just do our daily gossiping. (Just wait until our actual show comes out and we’re talking about the same recycled twitter topics: $200 dates  and how much “body count” really matters — similar to many other podcasts that popped up during the pandemic.) It gives me something to look forward to throughout the day. (I know so much about her job they might as well send me a W-2.)

Cheers to those friends that have stuck with me through ups and downs. Who picked me up when I was at my worst and also celebrated my achievements. Who lend me an ear whether I’m ranting and raving or just telling the same stories over an over again (I couldn’t explain how often we talk about the same stuff and never get tired).

And a very special thank you to Subrina, I couldn’t image my life without you. To you I am forever grateful.

My sister.

xoxo