sweater weather

Don't know what season it was when I got dressed this morning. Really, I wanted to wear the least amount of clothing articles as possible. Swore I had it all figured out but was in 80 degree heat in a purple sweater, dark jeans and some sneakers which laces do not stay tied. Annoying. Dressed for Fall in the Summer. Clownery. Mood today? Aggravated.

The energy at work is off. Assumptions and anticipations versus reality are clouding things. I like to think I'm good at pattern recognition. Beyond what I see, I feel the shifts and it's just so icky. Like in the pit of the stomach. Or is it the kombucha? Few things at play right now. It's compensation and review time. I had my meeting and am fine with the outcome. Sticking to not asking for more because I have my own bidness to tend to. Speaking of, I've been doing my best to get involved and was invited to facilitate the book club. I was going to do it but had to bow out today with the way my September is looking. Great thing for me! My boss and former boss did bring up showing that I'm more engaged and had interest that lie elsewhere if I wanted to step away from this desk when he retires. Which I thought I already did. Like, we had meetings about it and everything... I was crestfallen after both of these conversations but had a talk with someone else and realized it can be a generational thing: this job is your career but to me, it's simply a job. I'm working with another department in addition to what it is I already do and I refuse to put on a show but if you want to know what I'm doing, then I can do a better job of sharing. Power dynamics are surely at play. I'm trying to remind myself, take what you can, control what you can and really just let things flow. Look at what is going on as an opportunity.

Rejection as protection.

xoxo,

Ashanti