Transparency

The duality of being a creative person is the going through spurts of creating absolutely nothing and then getting that spark of inspiration and creating nonstop. I’ve been feeling so inspired lately and I think it shows, I’ve been enjoying actually getting my money’s worth and actually updating this blog with my thoughts. I write all the time, journals filled with things I would never share with anyone (that’s the only way secrets stay secrets, duh!) but sharing the thoughts I’m comfortable with has helped me be more vulnerable, less guarded. It feels good to get them out of mind and onto the (web)page.

I’ve been sharing some of my quickies and blog posts on my Instagram and I now completely understand Erykah Badu saying “Now keep in mind that I'm an artist. And I'm sensitive about my shit.” Creatively expression myself is the easy part but sharing with people is so nerve wracking. I post my screenshot and throw my phone across the room because my art, my writing, these thoughts are who I am, so if they don’t like what I post, maybe I take it as disrespect. (I know it’s not actually personal, but my feelings aren’t rational.)

The good thing is, someone not agreeing with me or not caring for what I post won’t stop me from posting. If anything, I’ve never felt more courageous and confident. If there’s just one person who tells related to me and starts a discussion with me, it feels so good, validating even, because I’m not the only person in the world having these experiences. As lonely as the world can feel, we’re not out here living it alone.