The Golden Ticket

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I’m curious if the mass hysteria perpetrated by Willy Wonka would have resulted in his arrest. That may be a dramatic statement. I watched the original Gene Wilder, 1971 version this past weekend and for the first time truly paid attention to the scenes leading up to all five children receiving their tickets. When I tell you I couldn’t help but laugh out loud because what do you mean my husband has been kidnapped for ransom and all they want is my case of Wonka bars for his life? You know what wasn’t funny though? All four of Charlie’s grandparents laid up in that bed. Grandpa Joe, the audacity of you to bed bedridden for 20-years, until Charlie found that ticket. He got up dancing and singing!

I am forever side eyeing him but you know what?I’m always looking just a bit deeper, possibly more than necessary. Grandpa Joe always believed Charlie would find a ticket. Them being impoverished didn’t matter, he knew it was Charlie’s dream, that he wanted it more than the others. Charlie’s mother wanted him to live in the reality of their situation. When you’re low you often cannot see yourself escaping that, just living in it and yet sometimes all you need is for someone else to believe in you — to believe that your dream will come true.

Out of all the children, Charlie faces the most adversity and yet and still, is the most kind of all. Not only is he kind but he is honest. His character shines through and is the reason he is left with Willy Wonka’s factory, ideas and fortune, thus pulling his family up from poverty. Following your dreams while not compromising on your values and selling your soul is not only possible but you’ll set a precedent for those that come after you.

Legacy and leadership. Those two words play in my mind, intertwined. I’ve been re-framing the way I think about success, especially since it’s always been so materially and externally focused. I believe at this stage I am learning the way I think about legacy has to be changed as well. Though I would love to leave a home, land, and money behind my true legacy will be that which cannot be taken away from my me. I have Faith that my kind, compassionate, nurturing spirit would have left the mark it was intended to. I am a leader in development, willing to embrace my creative side and express myself outwardly in ways a select few in my lineage have. My hope is that my work, whether in content or dedication to my craft, inspires those who come across or come in contact with me. That would be most meaningful.

This rethinking comes after speaking with my boss, a friend and my Mother. I enjoy working in an inter-generational workplace because it means that there is access to wisdom, not only about the work that we do but about life experiences and admittedly that interests me much more. My boss told me it didn’t matter where you came from socioeconomically, you could be a barista or a CEO, but your legacy would be dependable upon on your character. He told me to keep being myself. This took a lot of pressure off of me. My friend, Valerie, told me her legacy would be following in God’s world. I am newly walking into my relationship with a Creator of my own understanding and it has been defining my last year or so. Gratitude is more important than ever and so is learning what makes sense to me, what walking in my own purpose means. During my talk with my mother she told me she wanted to write her own obituary. Our relationship has been evolving in a beautiful way. I like I can talk to her about taboo topics, like death. I think the legacy she’ll leave behind will be that of transformation, of being stern with love, of the importance of family. I’d like to carry those values with me.

I’m trying my best to focus less on other people’s perceptions. To say that I don’t care completely would be false, especially about what those I love think, but I cannot allow their thoughts to change the way that I choose to live or express myself especially if it’s bringing me joy. I’ve been sharing a lot about myself on the internet for years and there is a large part of me that loves it, that feels seen. There is a small part that worries, unnecessarily so, about what is thought and said. I guess people will always have something to say. Word of mouth is the best form of marketing so I’ll continue on. You never know who’s watching, reading, listening!

I’ve been a little moody these days. Is it because the season is changing? It’s very well possible. I am prone to depression, so other than taking vitamin-D pills and meditating in the sunshine when I can, what else can I do in this season to stay mentally well? The sun has set by time I leave work and I get home and want to shower and get right into bed. I’m thinking maybe this Winter I should change my bedtime routine and wake up earlier with the sun. I wonder what I can get done in the morning before heading out for the day. What will be important to me is not hiding when I’m not in a good mood. Knowing I have a support system I can turn to instead of putting on a mask that everything is fine even when it’s not. It takes strength to keep it all composed but even more strength and courage to be honest and vulnerable about the way you’re feeling. Life is reinforcing that notion for me.

Oh, let me tell you about the sweetest thing that happened to me recently. I’ve been moody not only because of the weather but because I feel overwhelmed with the work that I do. I feel like a second brain for my boss, trying to juggle too much of it all. Distinguishing between the work that I do and the creative woman that I am. My work is what I do to make money, I am the woman who loves to write and sing amongst other hobbies. One of my coworkers gifted me a crown and called me the “crown jewel,” and wrote me a card with a poem based off the letters in my name. She thanked me for the work that I do which to me doesn’t feel very special but it important in the grand scheme of our organization. The recognition made my soul smile. I cried. The card is now sitting in a frame on my bedside table as a reminder. Princess Ashanti has a lovely ring to it if you ask me.

The tiara came at the perfect time. This is my first Christmas in my apartment. My heart is very full. My tree is pretty pink and purple with a big, long pink bow. I’ve been calling it the “Princess Tree,” and after I received my gift I sat it atop the tree. We were both crowned. I felt so very in alignment.

With the holidays around the corner I am wishing everyone a quiet mind and weight off your shoulders. Being around family, being without family, watching others in your life and online —this can be an emotionally overwhelming time. I am allowing myself to slow down, to lean into the joy this time of year brings and staying low. Getting as close to hibernation as I can, if you will. What is it that I’d like to take with me into the New Year? I have shed a lot, what am I leaving behind? How can I keep this momentum going? What new hobbies will I explore? Do I have any personal goals I’d like to accomplish? In what ways will I have fun and live?! When is my next vacation and tan? When oh when will I be on the beach with a flower in my hair?

God willing, we’ll see, won’t we?

Until next time,

xoxo,
Ashanti