Dedication

I've always loved a good story, whether through a book, a song, or person to person but I never saw myself as a good storyteller. Earlier this year, after a long break, I tried my hand at writing fiction again but it's so much more fun to read than to write for me. Then I started to indulge in poetry writing and I found my sweet spot: telling a story in an abstract way.

Privacy is important to me, considering the only way secrets stay secrets is by keeping them to yourself, but there is a difference between being private and being guarded. I've been tired of being so guarded, never allowing myself to be open about who I am or to truly bond with others. Vulnerability has never been my strong suit, so being able to express my emotions and tell some of my story in an indirect enough way, by leaving it up to interpretation, has been my favorite form of self-expression so far.

I started writing poetry in late-January and when I found out that April was National Poetry Month, I said why not challenge myself to writing for thirty days straight. Not only did I write the poems but I also recorded myself reciting them, which could be nerve wracking. I've gotten better about being perceived on video, I actually enjoy it now because I don't overthink it anymore. But it's one thing to share your art and it's another to record and post yourself reading them aloud. I even convinced a friend to post thirty days of content online because I needed an accountability buddy to keep me on my game. I am proud to say though, I did stay on top of what I had to do without assistance!

In the beginning I started off strong, having poems written beforehand and even prerecording my videos. At least the first six poems were written, recorded and scheduled to post within the first couple of days of the month. As the month went on the poems got shorter, my interested waned, and it began to feel like a job — less fun, which was pretty disappointing but I made a promise to myself and I had to stay true to it. It was also overwhelming to constantly post onto social media since I'm usually good at taking breaks throughout the week but since I had to post every single day, I started going crazy towards the end.

Thirty days of posting means thirty days no social media, life is all about balance after all. Now, I feel a bit empty. I feel accomplished but what's next? It'll be nice to write when I want to instead of feeling obligated to, that's for sure.

Here are five of my favorite poems from the month that you can read here:

Day 3: Tunnel Vision (based on true events)
Day 7: Her Majesty (based on the Queen herself, me)
Day 10: Last Will (I want my funeral to be a celebration of my life)
Day 19: [nostalgia] (it's been a long time since I wrote a haiku, I'm always overcome with waves of nostalgia)
Day 29: April Showers (walked through Central Park in the rain for this one)