New Girl
As people, often we have preconceived notions upon first meeting someone but with me, I find that people believe that I’m not showing up as authentically as I claim. Lately, this results in them attempting to do little things to get under my skin in hopes I will reveal my “true self,” that they’ll expose my true character and prove what they felt about me was right. Usually, they believe I’m the “angry black woman” and an all around mean person. Which honestly, is a little hurtful but you can’t pay attention to other people’s opinions of you when you know yourself. It’s true that I’m not always nice, but I am always kind, and I’m real about my feelings. I’m not good at pretending.
It’s been years since I was the new girl in a work environment yet no matter how long it’s been or where I’ve started working, what is proven time and again is that many people do not outgrow their high school mentality. When I began my new job in late-June, not only did I pick up on how close everyone is, and because of that I’ve been a bit of a loner and that is also because I’ve also picked up on the cliques that exist. I’m so genuinely uninterested in being part of a group, gossiping in the workplace or having to choose sides in any drama that might have been going on before I even got there. I just want to work, have fun with the kids, head home and repeat.
What makes the job so much fun is the children. I’ve enjoyed getting to work with the different age groups and I like them for opposite reasons. The infants are so adorable, cuddly and I can just talk and sing to them and they don’t respond. It’s the best when their room is quiet and there’s no crying, just music and relaxing vibes. On the other end are the preschoolers, who are between three and four. So much personality! I love talking to them, listening to them and getting to know who they are. I feel children always have a lesson to teach you if you listen closely enough. They’re also so funny, intentionally and unintentionally. I’m happy to have a job that I look forward to going to, which is crazy to say considering I would prefer to not work at all but alas. This journey has been so life changing, I’m relishing in it and I’m along for the ride of wherever it’ll take me.
