lately…

I felt compelled to turn my phone off this weekend. I wanted to one, stop myself from doom scrolling after a long, stressful week, and two, take time to not only study but create. I am a teacher, though not professionally, in life and to be a teacher means to know that you will simultaneously forever be a student. My spirituality and Faith are of utmost importance to me, especially as I navigate sobriety. When I speak and write about it, maybe I make it sound like I’ve done more than what I have, but I write the way I do because addiction has affected my family in ways that many were never able to come back from. I recently wrote a poem called “When the Party’s Over…” that I’m proud of. I was laughing to myself while writing and performing it in my room. Maybe all the hours spent watching battle rap has come in handy?! I think I put the right amount of real talk in how I was communicating the subject matter, comedic undertones in the performance and also left the reader with some hope at end. I understand why in this life we stay stuck in our ways and chalk it up to '“this is just who I am,” but I’m letting my emotions and my heart lead me away from what I knew and into a new, sweeter reality. Yummy!

I bought a Christmas tree and pink ornaments. This’ll be my first Christmas in my apartment and I am giddy. I don’t want to go overboard but I do want engage in many of the traditions: singing carols, decorating a gingerbread house, leaving cookies for Santa. Good thing I’m Santa! Though I’m not going overboard with gift giving. Initially, I thought I would spend that day with family but I am considering instead seeing if there is a soup kitchen in the area I can help out at. This year the people need it more than ever and I’m in such a fortunate state, it would be nice to give back. We’ll see where I end up. Until then, this is my favorite time of year and I am planning to take it slower and enjoy the atmosphere. Joy to the world!