lately…

I pulled an oracle card recently. I asked aloud “what should I focus on this week?” and the answer was grounding. I’m indulgent to the core. I enjoy partaking in many of life’s pleasures, so much so that I often overdo it. It’s important to me that I plant myself firmly in reality, while somehow still have my head up in the clouds, as that’s where I pull my inspiration from. Perhaps that’s paradoxical? 

I don’t shy away from the darker themes in life because it’s the reality for many. We all have a shadow-side and many of us have demons we battle on a daily. I dance with mine. I got a mean stanky leg! I write about addiction often because it’s the lived experience for myself, my friends and my family. I’m two weeks into a dry-September and am hoping I can keep the momentum going because I’m feeling good though temptation does lurk around the corner. Tequila and I are good friends and I even have a fondness for gin. But grounding means focusing less on what my flesh craves and focusing more on mindfulness. What is my spirit calling for? Lately, sobriety and spending time writing in the sun.

This time last year I moved back to my hometown after weathering a storm I didn’t think I would pull through. I took time this weekend to have a little celebration of life for myself for surviving what could have been a grave mistake. At one point I considered celebrating with a drink but I didn’t want to break this promise to myself. Addiction makes it so easy to numb-out but I have been sitting in the uncomfortable feelings instead. You’ll repeat a cycle when you aren’t applying what you’ve learned. It’ll hit you one day and you’ll realize you’re going through the same thing, sometimes in a new environment with new people and yet, you’re different and so should be your response. Since I know, I pray I take this opportunity to do things differently, it feels worthwhile.

An addiction that I may never forsake is the one to this damn phone! I’m a doom-scroller, especially right before bed. I watched a video of a woman whose mother’s kitchen theme is cherries. It was the cutest thing I ever say. Different saucers and mugs and a cherry wallpaper backsplash. Adorable! I’m currently obsessed with pigs. I see my future and it’s so bright and pink! Oink.